The devil in me...

The devil in me…

7 November 2007 at FEU Library

My mind is clattered like never before. I feel like I will have system breakdown anytime now. If I could just shutdown my system my access to the physical milieu, I would have done it long before. Now I know how it is to be human-mechanical. Ateneo’s Prof. Mau was right when she called me (our demo teaching group) robotic right after our teaching experience. I knew it and I hate it. This has been my comfort zone and I want to get out of it: try another one then leave when I can already sit pretty. I don’t understand you, you might tell me. I care less each day. Afterall, I grew tired pleasing people.

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Good thing I know how to write. For years, this has been the channel of my emotions, don’t get me wrong. I don’t blog for people to read. I do blog because I have to let go of the little devils inside cursing and tearing me apart each day. I do it for good. Call it writing therapy.

Today:

I already enrolled my 15-unit subjects. For the second time, I felt like a stranger walking through the fabled FEU grounds.

I received an SMS from a contact center. Telling me my interview sked set tomorrow. I will have my first class by then though. Hope they approve on my rescheduling request.

I’ll go to PUP after FEU to get my laptop from tita. I badly need it for organizational academic paper works. My desktop at home is still in the repair shop.

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I’m bleeding.